Welsh or Portuguese?
I’ve lost my touch.
I think I’m good at accents and especially good at the Welsh one. I spent a year with the Welsh people while studying to be a teacher. My granddad is Welsh as well so I’m over qualified in spotting this delightful accent.
Until today.
He had to be Welsh. That sallow skin. That accent. Em, and that’s it.
So, in the coffee queue in Costa Coffee, I said to the obviously Welsh man the following.
“Hello,yah, what part of Wales are you from?”
He replied “I’m not. I’m from Portugal.”
What?
Portugal with a Welsh accent? He couldn’t be. I just had to make him realise he is a Welsh man trapped in a Portuguese body . But, he wouldn’t and went on to tell me he was from the city of Porto. Well, dear readers(the whole 5 of you), if you were paying attention back in August, you will remember that we had visited the beautiful city of Porto. Hmmm.
I complimented his make believe city even though he is probably from Powys or somewhere with a y that makes a “Uh” sound. We exchanged pleasantries about the weather, food and price of living and other things that prove Porto kicks Ireland’s bottom in.
Our time in the coffee queue was up. It was awkward. How to end this conversation and the friendship we had built up? How to put a stop to the clear lies he had been peddling me? How to prove I was right and he was wrong and was pretending to be a Portuguese man?
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think of anything.
He picked up his coffee calmly and threw a farewell question/comment my way.
“What part of Scotland are you from?”
Definitely Welsh.
Me. Writing. Stuff.