I knew it was going to happen.
I hate wasps. I hate the look of them. Their thinness. Their pokey little stinger at the end of their body. The colour of them, bright yellow and black, the noise they make, the way they zoom in and out and interrupt a vey nice soirée outside, I hate them.
You might notice that I am not scared of their sting or the pain that comes with it.
Today, we were locking up and I had forgotten my keys. I went to go back in and Simon brought in the bin. There was a wasp hovering around the bin and I tried to ignore it. Next minute, I felt a tiny pinch of my skin on my shoulder. I knew it was a wasp straightaway, I have spent my life running from them so I knew.
I flicked it and felt it’s horrid little body, I squealed and stripped off my blouse and shoes. I don’t know why I took my shoes off! Simon immediately checked out my shoulder. There was nothing there but I could feel a slight pain. He went to google stings and what to do. Within minutes, the sting had grown into a small white lump with a little hole, like an empty black head. Simon applied white wine vinegar and then an ice cube wrapped up. The Internet is great! For a bee, you have to take the sting out but for a wasp, you just need to apply some form of acid, like vinegar, lemon or even tomato will do!
The pain was numbed but I was freaking out. The idea of it crawling on my shoulder and hurting me for no reason was playing on my mind. Simon looked after me while I reverted back to being a 7 year old and pouted with teary eyes.
A quick visit to the chemist was needed, just in case I was dying. The sting had totally gone down thanks to the ice and lemon but the pharmacist sold me a wasp eeze spray and an antihistamine tablet, in case I was dying.
I rang my Mum, I knew she’d understand. She hates wasps more than me and advised me not to wear any nice smelly perfumes or creams until the wasps die off.
This morning, I had used an almond scrub, almond shower gel and almond moisturising cream. The wasp thought I was a big almond flower of some sort. Happy days for him. He was still lurking on my bag when we got back in the car!
The moral of the story is simple and you may even learn something from this.
Do not apply smelly anything to your body. Do not go outside until October. If an evil wasp does sting you, apply acid and then ice cubes. If you feel funny, visit pharmacist.
I bet a bee would never it.