My review of not so clever girlie childrens’ novel for magazine

I occasionally write reviews for the teachers’ union magazine and this summer i received a package with a book for me to review..It was a novel( and I use the term novel loosely) written by a very successful author for little girlie girls..unlike me obviously.

I wrote my scathing 200 word review and sent it to Simon, my husband to check it for grammar and other mad mistakes I am liable to make when I type fast and dislike a book.

He sent me back the following reply.

Dear Mrs. Lewis

Thanks your for sending your review of “Bonjour Alice” to our offices.  Unfortunately, we are far too busy killing our French competitors in a secret, underground publishing company war which has been going on for 400 years.  We believe that books like “Bonjour Alice” are ultimate weapons in our plot to make women dumb.  We have already infiltrated many formerly clever women’s brains so they read our books and excuse it as “light” or “swimming-pool” or “holiday” reading.  We have also introduced other books which other supposedly intelligent women would consider “yeah, it’s chick-lit but it’s a bit more high-brow, like”.  We are now infiltrating younger female brains in order that when they reach the age of 18, they will be ready to read our ultimate weapon of mass destruction – well WOMD to our French competitors…  this weapon will be so fierce that no French author will ever write a novel again.  Gone will be the days of “Chocolat” or “Amelie” and everyone will be reading “Where Rainbows End” and “Tara Hill”.  This book will be co-written by Cecilia Ahern, Maeve Binchy, Pamela Flood, Amanda Brunker (our latest soldier in the destruction of women’s brains and French authors) and “that girl that used to be in Fair City who used to be really ugly and wore thick framed glasses but they’ve done the best they could do with her now”.

Our company wishes to offer you ONE tip in improving your review…. Judi Dench did NOT write the book.  (See below!)

Kindest regards

Judi Curtin
PS if you could kill a few Frnech people on your way out, that would really help us out.

CONCLUSION: My husband is rather funny.

veg are not so evil

I have always hated veg, well, that’s a lie as i do remember eating veg when I was about 6…I think at some point I was force fed and I basically went on strike from all veg..

Since I have met my husband, he has slowly encouraged me to eat more!when I met him about 8 years ago, i couldn’t even eat spag bol as it had “bits”, he had to cook 2 separate dinners and blend mine into a baby food..

Okay, I am still not brilliant but I try most things and tonight had baby corn, green beans, touf and onion chow mein, I wonder will I ever get to the stage where I eat veg without thinking about it.

I also force myself to eat 2 pieces of fruit a day and and aiming for 3 portions of fruit!Sad?Well, i am trying and I really believe I had and still have slightly a veg phobia…is there a doctor that can cure me?

 

X

R.

Baby 3 for my sister!

Well,my big sis had a little baby boy today by planned caesarian…she sent me a photo of him by mobile and he looked plump and contented!they have called him Ciarán Michael which is nice and Irish.

Mairead, his big sister of 5 years of age was shocked at first, she wanted her Mum to have a baby girl but I think she got over it quickly when I mentioned presents and surprises.

A child in my class today told me that her Mum is having a baby, she is convinced that it will be a girl adn if it isn’t then her Mum has promised to buy her a baby girl..don’t laugh, the way children and moreso Parents are, I wouldn’t be surprised if a parent bought their child a baby of the correct sex to stop them crying..

I overheard a parent saying to her child to day, he was bout 3 or 4..

“No.”

“no.”

“no”

and so on

and then

“No, John, i won’t negotiate with you.”

John proceeded to “negotiate” in his own way by shouting, screaming and generally doing what ever he pleased, Mum proceeded not to be able to “negotiate”

big words…i blame Supernanny..

6 months and 3 days of married lovely-ness!

wow, cannot believe i have been Simon’s wife for 6 months, thinking back to that day, it was and will always be the most special day of my life…i pine for that day!

Simon looked gorge and all our friends and family surrounded us, we had happiness oozing out of us…I love the fact we got a dvd as i can just watch it and sigh!

I would do it all again in the morning, the planning, the dress, the bridesmaids, the meal tasting..loved it all!

I count my lucky stars every day to have met someone like Si…they don’t make many men like him, in fact none!

X

for you, Simon!

Love and energy hugs

Your Rozzie

advanced night repair

I am half way through the bottle of Advanced night repair, estee lauder and am starting to see amazing results, my skin is much smoother, any small lines that were forming look less and less and every morning I have a glow about my face, I would recommend i highly!Even though it is pricey( €50), I think it rocks..I ama hoping to use the bottle up by the time I get to duty free in a month!Want to try Dr. WElls super mushroom serum and then I can decide which one is the best!

Also want to buy a pair of good sunglasses, Ray bans appeal to me highly but simon says not to buy them as I will resemble one of my crazy relatives, I won’t mention her name but let’s just say it has made me think carefully about buying them!

Anyway, 3 weeks and 3 days till Dubrovnik…shame I couldnt use ANR on the rest of my body!!Imagine a big bottle version, actually there probably is a version, I will go check it out!

tired again after 2 days and a full chocolate ban shock horror!panic!

after having 2 weeks away from work, you would think that I would be reenergised for at least a week, no,no,no…

i am wrecked at 7 p.m. on Day 2, the little children have been filling my mind with mad stories, which make me laugh openly at their madness but that in turn sets them off laughing and it falls into chaos for at least 5 seconds….until I should out “Lamha suas”

At the minute, my class love doing anything I do…they are now obsessed with drinking water just like teacher, how cute except they suck on the bottle like a dummy and need to use the toilet  alot more.

Already looking forward to weekend and resting…big birthday party coming up..Father in Law is 65!
Myself and Simon are “in charge” of the sweet things, Am cooking lots of fancy, dark choc and marshmallow type things that I won’t be able to eat..

I am taking inspiration for at least a week from my friend. M. She never eats crap of any form, she never drinks alcohol, dairy, fat, sugar and anything nice really..what is left, you may ask?Well, the healthy, good things that make her look all glowy and positive and nice.

Just to clarify, I am giving up choc, biscuits, cakes etc for a week to begin with, we’ll see!

X

Rozzie( with no choc in her system but there are at least 6 Easter Eggs, 1 box of organic chocolate truffles( which my friend M. brought?) and a box of Lily O Briens in the cupboard, roll on SAturday!!

🙂

hair do and it always rains…

Went to try out a new hairdressers in CArlow today, I used to go to “Bohemian Heads” originally as Neil, one of the “dressers” did my hair and I loved him, he didnt love me as I think he has a boyfriend and last time I checked I got myself a husband, it never would have worked out, we’d only talk hair for 10 minutes max and then be silent…

anyway, the new revamped new location of BH looks well cool and pukka. the chairs are all funky soft leather and the chair on the wash basin is

1. red leather

2. soft

3. hasa a big footrest so you can lie at the basin!

4. is a massagin chair thata comes with a control…how relaxing!

Plus the staff were so nice and used my first name obsessively e.g. “Rozz, you look fab” or “Rozz, can I get your number?” and so on.

Anyway, I got a colour put in and you would barely know only for the fact that my original colour is as to be expected…a boring lifeless dead dark not cool number 7(?) blonde, it sounds better that I have made it sound.

I did have lots of fun ideas about going back to my original colour but didn’t realise it was that bad…so the colour I got was between Cocoa brown with a squidge of a red that i cannot remember the name of. It looks shiny, glossy, brown and non-dark blonde and boring but not really much of a change if you get me. It washes out in 10 washes so I can always go back to my original colour if I get bored with life.

Anyway,I’d recommend the salon but I will still go to the other salon for my cut, Maria does my cut there and until she moves to BH, I will follow her!

It rained as per usual for my trip to the hairdressers.

Now, Im all ready to go for school on Monday, 5 weeks left to teach the junior infants everything!Fun!

Ta ta!

“easy” chocolate mousse

We are having a dinenr party tonight for 2 other friends of ours, slightly nervous as Michelle is a pro at cooking, baking and generally making everything from scratch!!She did the 8 week Ballymlloe Cookery course so can you see why I am nervous?

simon is making  big Italian Chicken tomato dish with salad, potatoes etc and bruschetta to start, yum. I took  dessert over as per usual, also as usual my dessers involve chocolate. I tried my first Chocolate Mousse, which apparently is so easy even a man can cook it( that is what the sexist book said…;))

It involved meleted 70% dark choc, egg whites, egg yolks and creme fraiche being ” whisked2 by hand…I whisked it by machine as I didn’t believe the book. I added a “small” amount of Baileys. We bought lovely dinky little Nicholas Mosse bowls and I poured the mixture in and put grated choc over it with strawberries( which I hope defrost!)

They look good and taste good but don’t have the texture of mousse at all so what will I call them?chocolate fun with Baileys?

anyway gotta go and pretty myself.

Yours in non-bubbled chocolate mousseness

R.

X

Grape and Grill New cool Steak restaurant in Carlow

Yay, new places to eat always make me happy..i am easily pleased!

We got a new cool steak place right down in Potato Market, the view from the restaurant is amzing, it is situated on the river and town park, lots of swans( actually millions today!) and people generally walking and chilling.

I got a Steak roll, fries and salad…very nice soft bap with various sauces to test out..pepper sauce, sour cream and onion and gravy..really tasty and reasonable at 8.50, Simon got the Roast bap of the day which was Beef…also yum and same price!

WE got dessert, they do different icecreams and you can order a warm sauce to go with it, I got honeycomb, fudge an caramel and choc chip, the warm sauce wabutterscotch.. Icecream very good but the sauce is  a bit of a rip off, it was 2€ for the tub, which you use about 1/20 of it….a gimmick but I fell for it as next time I will try out the raspberry on white choc and pistachio icecream!

Nice friendly staff but a bit disogranised, their first week opening so I supposethat will get b etter.

Am looking forward to going one night, gourmet bugers, spit roast chicken and yummy sirloin steak!

I am getting paid nothing for this review by the way.

Afterwards we went for a stroll in to town park, it is such a peaceful resource for us to have in Carlow. Please do not build apartments on it!

X

INTO congress 2008

Well, I decided to attend the annual INTO congress in Kilkenny this year. Probably for various unlined reasons.

1. The most important reason- the congress was to be held in Hotel Kilkenny, where Simon and I had our wedding reception, We were dying to see it and relive that day without a dress, bridesmaids, groomsmen and em…guests..not a good reason really, in hindsight..moving swiftly along..

2. We live so near, i.e. 45 miles away

3. WE were on our holidays from school.

4. We felt we should take an interest in the union and general teacher issues seeing as we were teachers.

5. Mary Hanifin was due to be there giving a speech, my dislike of the woman has grown so I thought why not go check her out in person? Actually I cannot say I really dislike her, I just dislike the way she lies and breaks promises but I promise to stay on the fence.

I usually avoid events which involve other teachers, primary in particular, they moan and they look like teachers. the female teachers all have short hair, glasses and work in Special Ed., and the male teachers all look like garda or councillers.. Why does this annoy me?Who knows?It is just a stereotypical observation that actually isn’t that stereotypical at all, I should really do a survey for this one day..

The more senior teachers all save seats for their friends like back in school, the younger more “hip” teachers get dressed up in a room with no mirror…the also save seats for their friends..

Anyway, they generally give out, complain and do nothing about various situations in teaching profession. whenthe minister for education appeared, the whole audience of teachers applauded her?Strange, we didn’t. I just looked at this small woman dressed in gold as she went through her well rehearsed and non-heart felt speech. I compared her to the Minister for Northern Ireland (Education), a huge contrast. Although Catriona Ruane’s speech lacked confidence and was slightly disjointed and very boring in places, she still showed caring and a heart for the children in the primary school setting. she outlined many areas that needed improving N. Ireland- the 11 plus exams, the irish language and the conflict between the religions there. Se kept repeating the phrase ” this is not acceptable”

Mary Hanifin’s speec didn’t once outline ANY problems in the current education system that She is in charge of. she basically gave a long account of how much money she was putting into education and how much more they will put in. she also reckoned we have “top class” teachers, as if to give herself a clap on the back for it? She has nothing to do with the “top class” teaching tha may go on in the classrooms in Ireland, this is created by the teacher him/herself, self motivating, working extra long hours to research methodolgies and resources, spending their own money and time on things that do result in “top class” teaching..

As you can see, I am annoyed with The Government and its lack of not only funding( which can be the easier option to solve a short term problem) and its lack of active listening and innovation and movement within a massively changing society…

We met up with a few friends from previous schools and conferences, I enjoy that bit!

and actually these events are never as bad as I originally think!:)